Never Fails

i always seem to like or mess with the crazy bitches. The ones that wanna kill them self as soon as shit starts goin bad. Why ? i say all girls are the same and shit can u blame me? and why when u speak to a girl and agree to no kids and they get pregnant they wanna have it? like we agreed to something whats wrong with you? ugh.. i swear im better off alone

Life

Broad subject so I'll get a little specific, what do I wanna do the rest of my life. I want a career not a job, somethin I can love and say I can't wait to go to work In the mornin.

Skool!

I can't wait to start skool, believe it or not I'm exited for it. meeting new people and possibly moving forward with my life. i feel like i can be better by my self but i feel like i need a lady to give me the extra push or motivation in my life. who knows maybe i find one in college lol im fuckin anxious. hopefully i do good since i was never good at school, but then again i never been this anxious to go to school =] lets see how everything goes

Remember her? The SB mascot!

He Became One Of My Favorite Rappers

Her again....

I kno if u stumbled on my blog u must get tired of readin of bitches lol shit lookin like a r&b album the way I talk bout bitches. I try 2 move on with my life since I been rejected by the girl I wanted back but every time I try, she keep pullin me back. 2day she hit me up like imy and she liked my icon so much she did one 2 match it.... Like this girl is on my head 2 much and wants nothin 2 do with me. I'm confused, I kno I told her don't wait till I'm dead 2 come back 2 me but damn she killin me the way she playin wit my emotions

Halloween

this halloween had to be the best one EVER. Got to spend it with a friend that became a bit more then a friend back in the summer. her man felt insecure and put the lock and chain on shorty so i havent seen her in AGES, damn i missed her. just staring at her eyes got me wondering what if i was her man, what if she would of deaded him in the summer and got with me? lol i'm pretty sure i would make it last. im trying to figure out what is it about her that got me thinkin a future wit her, shit i barely think about a future wit any female but.. hmm i really like this chick, maybe if i spend more time wit her my feelings would grow and i can actually take her from dat nigga, dey say love is blind and she's a clear example cuz dat nigga aint right for her AT ALL. now i think 2 my self wat makes me better, well i cant explain but in due time i can prove i am, if she would let me.
if she gives me a chance i have 2 take it, i'm gonna take it, fuck that nigga. i'm lookin like a mean hater but fuck it, ima try my hardest to convince her im the one for her, and hopefully make her mine if i can actually ask her 2 be mine and not avoid the question.. always fuckin happen when im nervous... lol im leakin secrets like crazy, thank god the ppl i gave da link 2 dis prolly lost it lol i miss everything about this girl.. kiss, touch even the convos we had, she's like da only one dat understands me... fuck it this time, i cant let her go, i wont, once he slips im IN THERE! before the end of the year... ima make her mine.. i promise =]

Ink game

Well my ink aint all that serious but hopefully by next year it will be. I still haven't covered this damn ring finger tat which idk why I'm slackin. Maybe cuz idk wth 2 put on it... Might just throw a star on it and call it a day lol I kno my x gon be kinda upset but idc, I never loved her and she never loved me, I guess it was just lust. She prolly wanted 2 see wat I'm about and I wanted 2 kno if she could take it. Lol I'm guessin. But wats funny is I have a S on my chest n she thought that was for her, which wasint and she noticed that after I put her nickname. Bitch started askin me why I did dat if I had da S... Lol Idk if I told her it wasn't for her... But I think she got it. Garunteed b4 da year is over I'm gonna cover it up.. I just need 2 kno wat 2 cover it with... Hmm.....

Recently

I been thinkin it over... And I been on my bummy shit for a bit 2 long now. I don't wanna go back to dat high skool shit n care bout wat ppl think but I think its time for me 2 get back on my fly shit. I'm just debatin on when 2 start it, since I don't even go out like dat. Well whenever it happens ppl will notice the difference.

Saturday

Damn its been a peaceful day but boring at the same time. Since this god damn cold sore I haven't been wantin to leave my house cuz shit lowers my self esteem. I hate when ppl look at it, I usualy don't care wat ppl think but when there constantly lookin at u it bothers. So I been in my house since thursday night and just gonna go out 2morrow to buy my lebrons fuck that shit I don't wanna be seen 2morrow. Monday ima go 2 work and not look at anybody lol but I bet they gon look at me. Let's see if I get more hrs and if it goes away...hopefully it will cuz I can't live like dis... Plus I need a shape up... Cuz sheesh I'm lookin outta control.

About... Me

Well I have spoken about everything but the king ELZ, so I think its time I give u some info about myself. I'm part of a team called S.B. (You should know that by now) I'm from a small hood called Dyckman in uptown manhattan. I finished high school and just not ready to go 2 college. I feel like everythin I want I get but it wasn't always like this. Nowadays I have 2 work hard for things I want but I'm here thinkin of faster ways to get it. I can't sit in my room for long because my thoughts remain in my head so when I'm outside it actually let's them breathe. I'm not perfect in fact I'm very far from it but I feel like I'm not completely sane, I kno I'm a lil bonkers but fuck it, I keep it cool so u won't notice it. I think outside the box so before I do anything I think about ALL my options and consequences. I'm addicted to tats it facinates me, the art, the color, its amazing. Since little I never got wat I wanted like sneakers so the older I get the more I get. I just wanna get everything I couldn't before but I think I buy all these things 2 hide the demons dat haunt me... Idk why I would write all this on a blog instead of talkin it 2 sum1 but I feel a sence of relief 2 get shit out my chest. But this post is pointless, atleast I think so. But maybe if I die and u decide 2 google my name and find this, u will kno more about me, kno somethings dat went thru my head that u would of never knew cuz I wouldn't of spoken it 2 anybody. Allow me to re introduce you... To me... Nice to meet u

A little thing bout me...

Call it weird... But if I'm use 2 seein u as a loser, it gets weird when u start changin around. I kinda hate it, like the weather changin randomly. Like scrams was a herb now he wanna be like me, talk money like me, nahhh play ur position. Guess I'm a little hater, don't want u 2 be in the position I'm in. I feel like god put me where I'm at for a reason and left u where u are for anotha reason. Fuck it... I just gotta act like its a one way and I don't see nobody... Yea... Guess dats wat ima do... Stack ur bread slime, let's see if u can catch up.

Rosario

I can say she was my first real confusion. Confusion as in, I fell in love with her and was confused on how she felt about me. Me n her wasn't ment to be we really just happend. When I first seen her I knew I wanted her so I chased her on the friend tip until I felt I could go for it. We dated but she wanted 2 go on a break confused da fuck outta me but I delt wit it. Came back and things weren't the same. Me being the fuckin celeb I was in skool, everyday there would be a new rumor about me datin or messin with somebody new. I knew who was sayin dis shit but I couldn't be seen talkin 2 dat bitch cuz den u kno... Da next rumor would be I'm messin wit her ass and I wasint wit dat. So word kept gettin back 2 her and of course she wasint likein dat. I would tell her babe its not true but I'm one person to a lot sayin da same shit... At the end of the day I lost her and her and da bitch dat broke us up, the one dat wished death on my girl became friends wit her..smh. I don't kno how the hell that happend but I delt wit it and moved on but I always think about her, remember her birthday, her favorite movie, like important shit, I always wondered wat had happen if we would of stayed 2gethere, would she show her feelings? Would I had met her parents? Would I had proposed 2 her on prom like I had plan 2? We still talk from time 2 time, but shorty rosario was my "what if" girl. I miss her a lot, havin her was a dream but now... I'm awake

True Story

I see it I'm in it
I get it I spend it
Comfortable living till the muthafuckin finished

I AINT 4GET!

I still got the blog in the back of my head, i have 2 many thoughts running in my mind for me to stop and focus on one and write it on my blackberry. im bout 2 drop like 5 post 2morrow... lets see how i feel tho.

DAY #365

I'm 21! about time! hopefully i can start doing uhh "grown up" things lol 

I Would Be Lying...

If I didint say I was exited for my birthday. So yea I am, finally turning 21... Sheesh been waitin a minute 2 be da "legal" age to do shit. Even tho I been doin everythin I "couldn't" do since like 14. I want 2 get my licence so I don't have 2 see dat damn under 21 in bold letter shit lol go in a random liquor store n cop some shit n laugh when they ask me for I.d. Lol ima mess :P

The Sun Shines After The Storm...

Looks Familiar? 

WOWWW! [throwback]

Miami?

Got offered to go to miami on wed till tuesday. I am soooo considering it, I need a vacation from the city lol ima come back wit the I'll tan n shit n nobody gon kno where the fuck I was hidin at. I'm still debatin about tellin my mother lol I just wanna dissapear, but I don't wanna have sex wit the chick takin me. Ima fight it all the way thru, prolly bag a bitch from over there or sumthin. I got until tomorrow at 8 to decide.... When u see beach pics den dat mean I decided to go :P (happy birthday 2 me! Lmfao)

-UPDATE

i rather not... 

I Want Her

so i kno who i want, shes 19, lives around my way, went 2 my skool and is super duper cute... i remember i didint wanna even look at her cuz of how immature she was but that was then and this is now. shorty looks like she knows what she wants and seems to be like my type, i say seem cuz i havent talked 2 her as much as i want 2. i doubt by the time im ready to date she'll be available cuz she look good but lets see wat happens... maybe i get her b4 i get my life 2gethere and she'll help me get it together. 

-UPDATE

shorty got a lot of baggage... i rather not

This Blog..

This blog is a mystery to A LOT of people. I only gave the link to 2 people and as I write my shit I sit here and wonder, do they still have the link? did they forget it? do they read it to see whats goin on with my life? do they care? i think a few people dont like me already or think im bugged out, with this blog being public will that increase? will that decrease? will they understand where im comin from? what goes on my mind? maybe... maybe not... who knows?

FUCK....

strollin thru myspace... stumble on the page of a ex girlfriend of mine. I thought i was over here but when i see her pics... and look in her eyes i remember all the love i had for her and how much i miss her. i thought i got over her BY NOW... but im still stuck on the fuckin pass... im sittin here typing this and thinking... i might have to get a girlfriend, start things brand new... see if i can 4get about her... but if she catches feelings and i dont, then that wouldnt be fair for her.... damn... this shit just fucks me up... 3 am.. and a bitch got me buggin... damn...

Chillin With A Friend....

So... I'm thinkin bout chillin wit one of my female friend but shorty has had (maybe still does) feelings for me. The problem with that is I don't see her like that, I just wanna chill with her cuz she's a great friend. But everytime I spend a lot of time with a female she tends to catch feelings even tho we don't kiss or have sex. Last time I chilled with a girl mad times I cought feelings and she had a boyfriend so dat was a dead end, so I don't want that to happen now. I really don't wanna hurt her feeling and I don't wanna catch no feelings so I guess ima chill wit shorty but ignore her when I have 2, just 2 let her kno we friends and nothin more... Maybe... We can be more, but for now?.... Just friends

Before the ink

U like?

Future Tat...

I like this album, NOT THIS MUCH, but c'mon son, this shit is FIRE!

My Princess...

i love my lil sis with all my fuckin heart, but she lied to me about something so stupid and that got me upset, how do u lie to someone who keeps it 100 with you and gives you wat he can? so wtv i havent spoken to her for about 2 months already and she put on her myspace this pic [below] it kinda made me tear a bit after reading all that... but its true wat ppl say, u can protect her so much but she has 2 learn things on her own 2... so this is a learnin period for my lil princess... hope she makes it and doesnt do anythin else stupid.. even if im not talkin 2 her physically im still with her mentally... ily little one...

on another note

im tired of trying to right like im in skool, ima write the way i want to... regardless, who ever reads this is gonna judge me by what i write more then how i write it.. so sit back and enjoy my venting 

This One Chick...

She wants to be my girl, tells me she loves me, calls me baby BUT she tells anotha nigga the same shit.. lol now i dont understand how other females tell me why am i so mean 2 girls. Why do i degrade women by callin them bitches, c'mon with shit like dat? i think its obvious... BITCHES AINT SHIT... u focus on women u'll get less done, thats why i put bitches at the bottom of my list. I have other things to worry about

Hmm....

Today I'm suppose to get my tat but idk if my artist is finished... If he is den a picture of my tat will follow this post if he's not finish then obviously u not goin to see a pic lol boring ass day don't kno wth 2 do, got payd less den wat I expected so dat limits wat I wanna do now its about wat I can do, let's see if everything I want goes accordingly but with my luck... I doubt it

So...

I been slackin... So much shit goin on... This da only place I can vent... Its like supermans fortress of solitude... I might do this everyday.. From now till I get tired of it... But still can't give the link 2 ppl... I don't need em knowin shit dey don't have 2

I Told You

Its A Lifestyle

Its A Lifestyle

My Views: Money

Seriously.... i dont think i have to go into detail with money. Its the 1 thing that has my heart, gets me watever i want, it gets me out of trouble, my passion for money just might be a little too much. It started when i was dating HER but it wasint that much of a big deal. After the break up i realized money makes me happy n i 4get all my issues so i got a lil addicted. Few years later get wit anotha person, break up wit that person n it became official. I realized money will never hurt me the way i got hurt, it wont ever argue wit me and its just the best thing in the world.... right after gold dat is. =]

money is just my addiction, i hope nobody puts a price on ur head cuz im gonna go get it!

Ehh...

bills is gettin unreachable, money is just as far, the more money i want the higher the risk is, is it worth it? my mentality still FUCK BITCHES... i still think they stress life, i have yet 2 meet a bitch that will help my life n not keep it where its at. the girls that want me i dont want, they dont understand an important rule when chasin me and dats give ur self a reason why i would want u in my life, wat makes me want 2 invest time in a relationship with u, if u throw ur pussy at me witout me even being ur man. how would i kno u dont do dat with every guy u want? but like i told my self when the year started, lets see if i can stay a whole year witout a relationship...... i can do it.... EASY

My Views: Females....

MATTA FACT... 2PAC LET EM KNO!

My Views

Gonna Do A Series Of "My Views" On A Few Things Like Females, Life & Wtv The Hell I Want 2! I Dont Expect Anybody To Read This, I Just Use This 2 Vent.

MAY 2ND pt. 2

FUCK KANYE....  i'll explain why...

So its 12:00 on friday night makin it saturday already, im walkin to the train station to go camp out for them yeezys. I get there at 1 20 not bad at all, im like number 25 in the line not bad again. So i wait, and wait, and wait, around 3:00 3 more ppl come, that makes me think i could of came at like 3 n i still would of been in this spot. NEXT time goes by me n the 3 behind me speak about the kicks and about the size, dats when i tell em if dey dont got my size one of there size is goin with me [i was serious] so time goes by and its 7 30 close 2 8 the store opens early and some bald guy comes out n tells everybody in line WE HAD A LIST ALREADY MADE N EVERYBODY WHO IS ON IT IS ALREADY HERE. Now the faggot tells me that after i waited more then 5 hrs in the cold, and the rain for some sneakers that i had no chance of getting...  not only did dey didint have a sign to tell us that so we wouldnt stand in line BUT the niggas in front of us didint even let us kno... so with that being said FUCK KANYE, FUCK HOUSE OF HOOPS, FUCK NIKE, AND FUCK THAT BALD GUY FROM HOUSE OF HOOPS.... ADIDAS!! [sometimes]

I Dont Have Model Wit Me...

I Got A Bad Hood Chick That Will Hit U Wit A Bottle 4 Me =]

90 Degree Weather Means...

MAY 2ND....

Besides The Chain All I Want Is These Kicks.... oh n the barkleys =X

I WANT IT!

KID CUDI'S CHAIN!
ITS FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL!

The Most Important Female In My Life Is?

MY LITTLE SISTER! THE CUTE ONE FROM THE FAMILY... 

WELL AFTER ME THAT IS =]

I DONT HAVE 2 EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL BOUT HER, 

I THINK SHE ALREADY KNOWS.

OOPS...

I DID IT AGAIN...LOL

Ms. Herrera

Since I’m not gonna put her Gov. n Ms. Herrera is too long let’s call this woman TITI. Now TITI requested me on myspace on Feb of 06, don’t know how she found me but didn’t care. She was datin a dude I grew up wit but he saw no real interest in her, how do I kno? She told me. Lol So ok she forgets about him and I do too, we start gettin to kno each other a little better. She’s from the BX and of course I’m from DYCKMAN her birthday had passed which explains the default of her with balloons. Shorty was OBVIOUSLY feelin me cuz she will constantly ask me when we chillin? when u comin 2 see me? And I would front like uhh… I got u boo, soon, and shit like that. I honestly didn’t find her that attractive so I just pushed her away. Couple months pass n she gave up on me and well the more we talked the more interested in her I became. Me n her stop hittin each other up like we did cuz she got jealous of all the girls that would comment my pics or comment my page, didn’t understand why BUT I was still a young buck so kinda didn’t kno if some1 has feelings for u little things like that bother. A year passed n we back at it like we first was, my confidence was a bit higher and TITI was lookin beautiful this time I was on her shit. She brushed me off and went off 2 date other guys and well I never seen this girl or REALLY kno her 2 be stuck on her so I said ehh u just anotha girl I lost so dats when I went n dated HER [go read on that lol]. Had my whole episode wit HER and surprised me n TITI ended up speakin 2 each other again, told me how her relationship didn’t work n of course minez didn’t either. At this point I kept askin myself why we aren’t together but didn’t really press her on that. We become close like so close that I feel im already dating her, she sends me pics for my eyes only [be ez] n I do da same, we text each other on the regular and call each other sometimes. She even had her name as superwoman on myspace, which reminded me of the fab line that he says “ever since this superwoman has come 2 the rescue my winters been wonderful, my summers been special”. Her voice is like a angel singin and her laugh is the cutest thing, at this point im havin dreams of her, I feel like I need her but… she disappears again. Months go on n I don’t hear from her and well I go back n forth with a few exes and yea dat goes down the drain quick. So I reach out to her and press her bout wanting to be her man n wantin to see her, and she rejects me, I send her text we talk for a while then she brb me n never hit me back up, kinda plays with my emotions but I man up n don’t stress it. We do this for the rest of the year then comes 08 another year of games, we kno everything about each other and long year short we still don’t meet each other. I told her I wanted to see her before the year finished so she could be the last beautiful thing I see in 08 and the first in 09 but… that didn’t happen cuz well… she deaded me again. I let her rock until her birthday, I told her the usual n then let her rock I think she had a man so I didn’t even wanna bother. Last month I was thinkin bout her heavy so I put her pic as my icon sorta like the bat signal to show her I been thinkin bout her, she hits me up n we’re back at it again. Idk how long this is gonna last but I kno this won’t be the last time Ima write/think about her. Maybe if im lucky she’ll tell me exactly how she feel bout me or the way she saw the story. TITI is the only girl I never ever seen in real life but feel might be the one I marry n prolly have my kid and if she does im with her 100% no abortion that’s gonna be the end of our story and a start for our kid… Since that isn't happening anytime soon...

I'M MOVIN ON IN LIFE!

Meet SIMBA

PET HIM... GO AHEAD... >=]

Reminds Me Of.... ME

Just Read Below... 

Backstory

Vega was born the son of a wealthy, but physically unattractive father, and a beautiful mother from a lower-class family. As he matured, Vega studied bullfighting, a cultural tradition. Afterward, he went to Japan and learned ninjutsu, a style he believed meshed well with his natural grace and agility. Combining bullfighting with ninjutsu, Vega went into an underground cage fighting circuit, and quickly became one of the best. One day, Vega witnessed his mother's murder at the hands of his own stepfather, who felt that she did not respect him, and Vega killed him out of vengeance. The incident traumatized him, and he developed a dual personality: honorable nobleman by day, sadistic murderer by night.

Character design

Vega does not wear his expressionless mask to conceal his identity; he removes it after fights, during his win poses, as well as in certain character-select images in various games he appears in. The mask is purely to protect his face from scarring or bruising during battle, since he believes himself to be impossibly beautiful and is obsessively narcissistic. This mask is not particularly sturdy; he may have it knocked off of him during fights before or after his talon comes off, it is smashed in during Vega's lose portrait in Street Fighter II, and Vega himself will crush it to dust with one hand if he loses due to a time over in Street Fighter Alpha 3.

Dreams....

I got skeems 2 get MOULA!!

i wont write wat it is just yet, ima let u find out =]

Time 2 Move On...

Been Stuck On The Same Girl for 2 Long.... I'm Movin On

What If...

me n her would of never broke up, What if i would of never got my finger inked, What if i would of got locked up in my freshmen year, What if i would of kept playin ball after my sophomore year, What if i would of gone to college right after senior year, What if i would of never stopped writing, What if one of those bullets would of hit me, What if i would of got robbed for my chain, What if i didn't take his life in the train, What if i would of passed 8th grade, What if i didn't graduate on time, What if bibi wasn't my bff, What if i didn't get my heartbroken, What if i never would of met chef?...

What If...............

HER

It all started on myspace, a couple of msgs then an arranged meet up in 145th and riverbank. Only kno her from pics but i never knew she looked as good as she did, i couldn't take my eyes off her during the whole time. She got a call so she had 2 dip, we set up anotha meet up for 2 days later around her way. 106th and riverside was the 2nd location we chilled and walked around the park she told me about her past relationships and asked if im willin to give her a chance, i wanted 2 say yes but i wanted to kno a little bit more bout her. A month later i asked her 2 be my one n only she accepted. It didint take me long to realize i fell in love with her and alot of people didint like the fact that i was happy so they did everythin to break us up. They made up rumors, told others that she was a few years younger then me to make me look bad, 1 fat bitch even blackmailed me to break up with her or she was goin to have my "child". I KNO i used a condom but... u never kno, so i broke up wit her, i regret it every wakin day, and when she found out we broke up she "aborted it". A year pass i didn't hear from her, i got with shorty from my high skool around the same time last year i got wit her, i thought me n shorty would last 4ever and since i lost the one the year before i wasn't gonna lose this one, so i treated shorty like a queen. Then realized she cheated on me twice and i had already inked her nickname on my ring finger.... big mistake. We broke up but kept in touch, because i dont like to hold grudge. Then God suddenly links me back to the one i lost. We talked and she had told me she was hurt, i fucked up and of course i understood but i couldn't tell her why i broke up with her in the first place she prolly wouldn't of bought it anyway. I pled with her, i told her how much i wanted/needed her back, she gives me life, she made the biggest impact in my life in the shortest time, we saw each other on thanksgiving n i had covered my tat from my last relationship so she didn't see it. We sent each other pics from here n there then she saw the tat and didn't want anything to do with me. I tried telling her everybody makes mistakes mines is just visible but.... she didn't care. She then started slowly driftin away from me. I hit her up and she answers when she wants to... not knowin how empty i feel with ought her.... i would give ANYTHING to get back with her but i guess ima have to move on... life goes on, but i have to live with the fact i did her wrong.... 4ever

Meet RED

I'm takin care of this lil nigga for a while... 

hope my mom doesn't make me give him back

Brand New

Wanted to leave the old behind and start brand new..... 

so here it begins.